Monday, 23 May 2016

John Llewellyn Probert's A-Z of Books

Today my blog is being hijacked by John Llewellyn Probert. Take it away, JLP!

AUTHOR YOU’VE READ THE MOST BOOKS BY

Jonathan Carroll, Michael Moorcock, Christopher Fowler, R Chewynd-Hayes, Ramsey Campbell

BEST SEQUEL EVER

The Illearth War by Stephen Donaldson. Certainly my favourite part 2, and it feels like a sequel even if it's the middle bit of the first chronicles of Thomas Covenant. About halfway through there's a massive battle that's just so well-described and choreographed that it remains one of my favourite ever reading experiences. More than any other book I think it's the reason I still love epic fantasy to this day.



CURRENTLY READING

Sourdough & Other Stories by Angela Slatter. And it's great.



DRINK OF CHOICE WHILE READING

Frangelico Martini with a splash of King's Ginger Liqueur. No ice.

E-READER OR PHYSICAL BOOK

Physical book always. Hardback. The bigger and posher the better.

FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU WOULD HAVE DATED IN HIGH SCHOOL

The nymphomaniac from Guy N Smith's Killer Crabs. I think she was called Caroline du Brunner. See? I can even remember her name & I haven't read this book since I was 13, so she must have made an impression, and I bet she would have in real life as well. Other than that any of the sexy attractively proportioned ladies in books by Mr Smith or James Herbert. Before they met a terrible demise at the claws, pincers, tentacles or other appendages of whatever outsized freak of nature was being used as an excuse for some gory deaths and sexy interludes on this occasion. And I would have known to run the minute I heard any clickety-clicks or scratchily-scratches.



GLAD YOU GAVE THIS BOOK A CHANCE

The Black Spider by Jeremias Gotthelf. I would never have thought that a book written in 1842 could have so much face exploding, rampant spider demon black pustulating boil plague spreading horror. Fantastic. Anyone interested in the roots of the genre should seek this one out and keep with it until the action really kicks in about halfway through. And it was written by a parson. A parson! I would have loved to have heard some of his sermons.



HIDDEN GEM BOOK

Darkness Weaves by Karl Edward Wagner. All his Kane books are brilliant pieces of epic fantasy but this might just be the best. Wagner's skill at economically setting up plot and backstory is so good it should be taught on writing courses. For all I know it is.



IMPORTANT MOMENT IN YOUR READING LIFE

It's going to be around 1996 when I started reading again for the first time in ten years. University education & post-graduate training had meant I felt guilty if I picked up any book that wasn't a textbook ( a very common occurrence amongst my peers as well - isn't that a shame?. Stephen King's Desperation got me back into reading, then Mervyn Peake's Gormenghast trilogy, and I haven't stopped since.



JUST FINISHED

DJSturbia by David J Schow.



KIND OF BOOKS YOU WON’T READ

Pretty much everything is fair game, but I stay away from YA & children's books (the appeal of Harry Potter to adults remains a bit of a mystery to me). There's too much grown up stuff out there to read. And I don't mean The Sucking Pit or Lobsters Out Of Hell. Oh but I do really, don't I? Hey I never said I was perfect, and if I prefer Guy N Smith to J K Rowling that's my plate of dressed crab.

LONGEST BOOK YOU’VE READ

One of Steven Erikson's marvellous 1200 page plus Malazan Book of the Fallen epics like The Bonehunters or Reaper's Gale.



MAJOR BOOK HANGOVER

Eat Them Alive by "Pierce Nace" (who WAS he / she? We shall probably never know). If you're not nodding in agreement then you've obviously never read this one. Not that that's necessarily a recommendation. I've only read this infamous paperback once and yet I can still remember most of its hilarious, ludicrous plotline, the terrible antics of the guy determined to get revenge on some criminal gang for his castration by using giant killer preying mantises (mantides?), led by the one he christens Slayer, who gets to ride in the front seat of his jeep so that the mantis feels special. Gosh, there seem to be a lot of monsters on the rampage books in this list, don't there? I had no idea they'd made such an impression on me.



NUMBER OF BOOKCASES YOU OWN

13. More on the way. Or they're all going to have to be made taller!

ONE BOOK YOU’VE READ MULTIPLE TIMES

The Monster Club by R Chetwynd-Hayes (more monsters!)



PREFERRED PLACE TO READ

In a wingback oxblood leather armchair.

QUOTE THAT INSPIRES YOU FROM A BOOK YOU’VE READ

"They shook hands with Henry, slit his throat, attached brown blood and breath bags to his wheezing lungs and dribbling arteries, snapped the bone, cut the remaining sinews and lifted his head clear of his body and straight into a preservation tank."

from "Bloodthirsty" by Martin Waddell in The Ninth Pan Book of Horror Stories
One of my favourite comedy horror tales ever.



READING REGRET

Probably that when I was a bit younger I felt the need to spend far too much time persisting with reading books many people considered classics when all I was doing was having the dullest and / or most miserable time imaginable. I even read some of them twice just to make sure I didn't like them. Some people will stare aghast and open-mouthed if I mention any titles, so I won't.

SERIES YOU STARTED AND NEED TO FINISH

Actually it's Steven Erikson's Malazan Book of the Fallen series - I've read the first eight and have the final two-volume massive 2000+ page finale to go.

THREE OF YOUR ALL-TIME FAVOURITE BOOKS

The Woman Who Married a Cloud: The Collected Short Stories of Jonathan Carroll



Behold the Man by Michael Moorcock



The Stars My Destination by Alfred Bester



UNAPOLOGETIC FANBOY FOR

Michael Moorcock

VERY EXCITED ABOUT THIS RELEASE

Centipede Press are bringing out six classic John Blackburn novels including Nothing But the Night and A Scent of New Mown Hay, all in gorgeous collector's editions. I cannot wait.



WORST BOOKISH HABIT

Buying lovely posh limited editions of books.

X MARKS THE SPOT: START ON THE TOP LEFT OF YOUR SHELF AND PICK THE 27TH BOOK

The 27th Pan book of Horror Stories




YOUR LATEST PURCHASE

The Anatomist's Dream by Clio Gray



ZZZZ-SNATCHER BOOK (LAST BOOK THAT KEPT YOU UP WAY TOO LATE)

The Alabaster Hand by A N L Munby



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